Dog Cones and Fry Sauce everyone!

So my dog is wearing the cone of shame.  If you have a dog you know the one I am talking about, the one that does not allow them to lick themselves.  You may ask what that has to do with pickles.  Well, nothing really.  Gilmore just looks silly and I am a little sad he had minor surgery on his paw.

So tonight I ate Heinz hot dog relish.  Now, Heinz is a huge company, probably most famous for its ketchup.  As a result, I was not super excited about the relish.  I figured it was going to be run of the mill, nothing special relish.  The idea of this product is relish and mustard into one.  It is okay.  I am not a huge fan of sweet relish, but once mixed with the mustard it has enough vinegar base in it that it fills my need for vinegar based condiments.  Let me add, I also really enjoy mustard so when you put two vinegar based foods together, I am a pretty happy camper.  I have always wondered if I suffer from vinegar deficiency, which would explain my love of not only pickles, but mustard and buffalo wing sauce.  On a scale from 1-10 I give this relish a solid 5.  It would just be much better if the mustard was mixed with some sort of dill relish.

Now, the premixed concept makes me laugh.  I understand that we live in a world of convenience.  Gone are the days where people have time to put their peanut butter and jelly on their sandwich.  They have to get one jar to save time.  This relish is the same concept.  My only question is if you don’t like the ratio of premixed products do you add more of one product.  If you buy the peanut butter and jelly mix and want more jelly, do you supplement?

One of my personal favorite pre-mixed products is fry sauce.  For all my friends who live in Idaho and Utah, I do not need to explain.  To the rest of the world, fry sauce is a premixed ketchup and mayo combo that is packaged and called fry sauce.  When I was little you could only get it at Arctic Circle.  Now you can actually buy fry sauce in grocery stores.  There is a band called, Some Dude’s Fry Sauce.  This delicious concoction recently came out with a zesty version (or at least I think it was recent) that has chilies and garlic.  Delicious!  Now, for those of you who do not live near Idaho or Utah the biggest secret I have for you is that you can also get fry sauce by buying Thousand Island dressing.  It is the same thing.  (I did not know that until I was an adult.)  In fact, Thousand Island might be marginally better because it has pickles in it and if you have not figured out by now, I think pickles make everything better!  

Goodbye my friend

I already broke my promise to write every day.  As a matter of fact, it has almost been a week, but I am back and ready to talk pickles!

I got my first mail order pickles the other day,  Dynamite Dills!  I ordered two different jars and got a third one of another variety for free. That was the first thing I liked about this brand.  Dynamite Dill is a company based in Lancaster, PA.  The name of the company is the Original Pennsylvania Pickle Company.  The company was started by a woman named Anne Williams who believed that different pickles should compliment every meal, so she has five different dynamite dill flavors.  Right now on my desk I have three of them:  Jalapeno Garlic, Hot Habanero Garlic and Sweet n Chipotle Garlic.

I think the Jalapeno Garlic are not very spicy.  They are quite crisp and have a little bite to them, but not burn your mouth hot.  I think these are excellent on a sandwich.  For my taste, they could use a little more salt, but overall, they are very good.

The second jar I tried was the Hot Habanero and they are my favorite.  Again, they could use a touch more salt, but they are spicy!  I think these are addictive.  My neighbors partook in the Dynamite Dills tasting and the ones that were most eaten were the Habanero pickles.  Delicious.

The last jar Sweet n’ Chipotle…YUCKY!!!!!  Let me start with the color.  I also think the smell is a little like barbeque sauce and if you look back, you see I am not a fan of the Barbeque.  The third strike against it is that they are sweet.  I didn’t really like anything about these pickles.

So to sum up, I really like the Dynamite Dill brand.  These pickles are crisp and spicy and delicious.  Even the one variety that I did not enjoy was unique and therefore I give it innovation points.

Well, now I am back on track with my pickle blogging.  I have been absent because last Friday a dear friend of mine passed away so I was on the road to attend the service.  On 8/6/2010 Kendra Packer Lofthouse passed away from complications from type 1 Diabetes.  For those of you who knew Kendra, you know she was kind and strong and brave.  She was a good friend.   I love her and she will be missed.

Sclemeel, schlemazel, hasenfeffer incorporated!  Today I reviewed Milwaukee Midget Dill Pickles.  These pickles tout themselves as Wisconsin’s Hometown Favorite.  Now, I will be the first to admit I stink at geography, but last time I checked Wisconsin wasn’t a town, it is a state.  The pickles are little itty bitty dills that have a decent taste.  I think Alberto found them at Walmart.  They are fine for a Walmart pickle.  Good dill taste, but they aren’t spicy or sour.  They are just meh.  I also am not a fan of a pickle that is SMALLER than the baby dill.  Why do you want a pickle that small?  Even my five year old would eat three to get his pickle fix!!

In addition to not having much to say about the pickle, there isn’t a lot to say about the brand.  When I Googled the brand, there was nothing there.  I found a few message boards asking where people could buy them, who makes them, etc.  No official website.  Weird in the year 2010.  So I went over the label with a fine tooth comb and after pulling out a magnifying glass I found that they are part of Vlasic in Pennsylvania, which is part of Pinnacle Foods Corp in New Jersey.  What!?  I thought these were Wisconsin’s hometown favorite. J  I actually had formulated a whole story that, the beer plant where Laverne and Shirley worked, had a pickle division where Lenny and Squiggy worked.  It was the spin off that never got picked up.  Instead of putting a glove on the jar, it was a hat that the boys whimsically waved goodbye to during the opening credits.  I was very disappointed.  Then I realized that maybe the reason the pickles aren’t out of Wisconsin was because this show was never picked up.  They had to sell out to another pickle company.  There was no product placement.  At this point if you are wondering if I am a little crazy, the answer might be yes.  More likely I am just a woman in her mid thirties who is nostalgic for a time where TV was simpler.  Or maybe, even more likely, I shouldn’t wait to write so late at night, because my mind wanders a little too much!  For all of you who might be feeling a little nostalgic too, here is the Laverne and Shirley theme song:

Famous Dave's and fabulous pickles!

In my opinion, the only good thing about Barbeque is the pickles.  I know this is a very unpopular stance.  Some of you may even be asking, how does your Texas-born husband feel about this?  Not good.  Not good at all.  I grew up in a state where Barbeque usually meant someone was throwing burgers or hotdogs on a grill.  Very rarely did it mean that it was a drippy sauce covered meat that has sides of more meat and mayo ridden salads.  My favorite part of Barbeque, pickles of course.  So today, I am eating  Famous Dave's Signature Spicy Pickle Spears.  These pickles are really good.  This surprises me for a couple reasons.  First, they are called spicy pickles and they are not really that spicy.  There is a little zip to them, but not even enough to call them a little bite.  Second, they are sweet pickles.  I don’t normally like sweet pickles.  I think it must be the taste of the sweet with a touch (just a touch) of spice that I enjoy.  The tangy taste is really enticing!  I could see how these would be very addictive.  My tasting sample was three spears, and now I wish I had more! These pickles are surprisingly crunchy.  Usually pickles that are not deli style are not very crunchy.  (Sorry Vlasic, but it is true.)  These pickles were a pleasant surprise.  So next time my husband is in the mood for some molasses soaked food, I will suggest Famous Dave’s so I can enjoy the delicious pickles.

I think I have found a better use for barbecue sauce.  This article is a little over a year old, but I think this might be a fun way to get revenge.  Aurora woman's car slathered in barbecue sauce, pickles.  Good use for Barbecue sauce but not a good use for pickles!  Why couldn’t the vandals use beans or cole slaw or another traditional side?  Why waste perfectly good pickles?

Slow Day in the Pickle ‘Hood

Why don’t blondes eat pickes?

Because they can’t get their head out of the jar J

Before you get offended, please know, I am blonde and a little lacking for material today.

Today’s pickle was the baby dill pickle from 365 Everyday Value, which is sort of like Whole Foods version of generic.  When reading up a little on this brand I found a couple blogs and websites that stated that 365 Everyday Value is not as organic as it may claim.  It has “natural flavors” on the label, which is really code for chemicals.  I found this on vegsource.com.

The exact definition of natural flavorings & flavors from Title 21, Section 101, part 22 of the Code of Federal Regulations is as follows:

"The term natural flavor or natural flavoring means the essential oil, oleoresin, essence or extractive, protein hydrolysate, distillate, or any product of roasting, heating or enzymolysis, which contains the flavoring constituents derived from a spice, fruit or fruit juice, vegetable or vegetable juice, edible yeast, herb, bark, bud, root, leaf or similar plant material, meat, seafood, poultry, eggs, dairy products, or fermentation products thereof, whose significant function in food is flavoring rather than nutritional."

So if it is derived from nature it can be considered Natural.  That doesn’t seem right.  This is all a tangent though…

The pickle was good!  I like baby dills in general.  These had a good flavor, an okay color and of course are fun sized, which in reality means I had to eat about five of them to get my pickle fix.  My five year old son loves baby dills because it is the right amount of pickle for him.  A jar of baby dills is the right amount of pickle for me!

So I would like to start a campaign to change the industry standard of naming pickles baby dills to fun sized dills.  They do it with candy all the time.  I do think it is dishonest marketing.  After all, wouldn’t a fun size chocolate bar really be twice the size.  In fact, maybe my campaign should be the opposite and I should campaign for fun sized candy bars to be changed to baby candy bars. 

The title of my blog, “the Fickle Pickle” has caused a little tension around my household.  Alberto, who is normally very witty and cleaver lacked in ideas, or should I say, lacked in ideas I liked.  My friend, Kristin is the one who came up with the Fickle Pickle.  Thank you Kristin.   I wanted to take the time to thanks my son, Jacob for my second favorite idea, “Super Pickle in Super Pickle Land.”  Now, I did introduce Super Pickle yesterday, so maybe I should have gone with his idea.  

Glucose-fructose and sugar in the ingredients makes for one gross pickle!!!!

Gundelsheim pickles are made in Gundelsheim, Germany.  The company, founded in 1920, has manufactured gerkins, fruit, other vegetables, vinegar and mustard.  Their pickles are hand picked, barrel fermented all natural pickles.  Tonight, I had a crunchy dill.  The thing I learned from tonight’s pickle, even though the label says dill, read the ingredients.  This pickle was much sweeter than I expected.  Way too sweet!  According to Gundelsheim’s website, they use a sweet-sour brine.  I tasted no sour and it needed sour.  On top of this way too sweet taste, I did not like the texture.  I am aware pickles have bumps.  These bumps reminded me of wrinkles.  Pickle skin should not resemble elderly people skin.  I really feel badly that I don’t like these pickles, because the pictures of the town are really cute.  Here is a link to the town website:  http://www.gundelsheim.de/rundum.html.  If you are looking to take a trip to a town that is famous for pickles and is in Germany , this might be a good one.  Although, I actually advise against eating the pickles!  I did a little research and at least 10 other German brands are sold in the U.S. so I am going to try some of those before deciding which pickle village in Germany I am going to visit.

Tonight, I would like to introduce Super Pickle.  Super Pickle is the official mascot of the gerkin gal blog.  I was given super pickle sometime in middle school.  You may say, oh, that is why he is missing an eye and his nose is frayed.  Sadly, that is not true.  Super pickle was busy being a respectable super hero until he met my son Jacob.  I am unsure what Jacob did to Super Pickle, all I know is that Super Pickle looks closer to his age now.  So let’s everyone give Super Pickle a warm welcome.  He is going to be my companion the rest of this journey.  What does this entail for him?  I am unsure.  I guess that is part of the journey.  If I haven’t proved that I have too much time on my hands because I am writing a blog about pickles, this has to seal the deal.  Now I am committed to figure out how to work in a six inch stuffed pickle every once and awhile.

Big Pappa

So to conclude this miniseries covering pickle in a pouch, I am going to discuss Big Pappa.  Big Pappa is a normal, run of the mill, large dill.  Very delicious!  It is a really salty pickle so sometimes Big Pappa dehydrates me and swells up my fingers.  That being said, Big Pappa is so worth it!  Big Pappa is also often found in my purse.  My oldest and dearest friend, Brittany went to lunch with me one day.  While I was digging through my purse I pulled out Big Pappa.  She made a comment about how that was pretty disgusting.  I have always wondered if she meant keeping a pickle in my purse in general or the actual pickle in a pouch.  I decided not to pursue it.  I didn’t want to find out my best friend was like pickle girl and afraid of pickles in general.

Now, I love pickle in a pouch, but I become a little obsessive about things and I go thought periods where I eat WAY to many pickle in a pouches.  I have been known to eat a few a day.  So normally, I will eat three or so for a few days in a row and not be able to eat them again for a month or so.   That is the point I am at now.  Luckily, I just said I was having pickle in a pouch weekend and not pickle in a pouch month! 

I would like to take a moment to remember Notorious B.I.G.   One of his most famous songs was Big Poppa.  (Please be aware before you click on the link the song is totally inappropriate.)  He also had a song, whose title I won’t name because it is also inappropriate about drinking pickle juice.  So, even though on the surface Mr. B.I.G. and I did not have a lot in common, if I had ever met him, maybe, just possibly, he would have wanted to read my blog.  Okay, maybe not, but he did die too young.